Why It Feels Hard To Take A Break

We’ve all had these moments as a parent. You sit down to have five minutes to yourself. You are trying to get ready after a shower, go to the toilet, read something or sip a cup of tea while it is still warm.

And the moment is interrupted by a little voice calling for you, or little feet coming into the room.

Someone needs you.

It’s hard as a mum to find a moment in any given day when no one needs you.

Which is why it can feel incredibly hard to take time to yourself.

Guilt shows up so easily. Guilt for needing space. Guilt for wanting time to yourself. Guilt for not feeling endlessly energetic or available.

Internally, it turns into so much mental noise.

“I should be more outgoing”

“I shouldn’t need a break”

“Other parents seem to cope so much better”

The list of unfair statements goes on.

Often, in amongst the guilt, your context gets lost.

Without a village, you are doing so much more, for so much longer, without a break. Breaks are not built into your day, they need to be consciously organised or created.

Even with a really strong partnership, there is no overflow, so needing a break means handing over to someone who really needs one too. When there is only one or two people holding everything, the need to recharge is higher, and no one is fully rested.

It is not that you are less patient. It is that you have less support. It is not that you are selfish. You have had much less space for yourself.

It is not that you need “too much”, you have not had enough.

You do not have spontaneous pauses. No one to step in while you lie down for an hour or fully switch off. Rest is not a given, and it requires effort.

You are not doing it wrong. Needing a pause does not take away your love for your children. Needing space is human.

You are allowed to be someone as well as being everything to everyone else.

You are allowed to need space, and you are allowed to be tired.

And when you do get five minutes, or any amount of time – it is not something to feel guilty for.
It is something that supports you, and in turn, supports your children too.

Be gentle with yourself this week.