Pregnancy Without A Village
Pregnancy is a hugely significant time in somebody’s life, and a time full of a lot of different feelings.
As well as growing your family, which is a massive and incredible thing, there is a cascade of hormonal, physical and emotional changes occurring for you.
It can be such a happy time and also one full of different challenges. You are doing something physically phenomenal, growing a new human being.
This is a profound and important time in anyone’s life, and it can feel very overwhelming. Without a village, it can feel even bigger and sometimes a bit bittersweet, as well as potentially more challenging.
With no network of support, there is no one to call on when morning (all day, really) sickness feels unmanageable. No one to help you with physical tasks, or taking care of your other littles if you already have children and are pregnant with another one. Physically, you are doing much more with less people to help you in a time when you feel quite vulnerable.
Emotionally, it can also hit very hard. The flood of hormones you get throughout pregnancy that create different moods and sensitivities can make having less people around you feel extra raw. It can highlight it a bit more in day to day life when sometimes you might be moving through without thinking about it as much.
It can also make the whole experience of pregnancy feel quite bittersweet. You are so excited for this new chapter of life, this new arrival, but there are less people there to celebrate with you. Less people to ask you how you are doing, to share in your joy and your anticipation.
If you don’t have your own mum, it can also feel like a big part of the picture of the classic experience of pregnancy is missing. The advice, hearing stories about her pregnancy journey, the words of encouragement and the kindness and nurturing presence. The excitement for a little human being that they want to shower with love, too.
It is a time of such excitement and joy, but without the circle of family and friends to celebrate it with you, it can bring about some grief, too. That you might not have the pregnancy you envisioned, with the big baby shower banner, and the room full of people excitedly talking about your new baby on the way and asking how you are doing.
It can feel really difficult when others seem to have so many people around them that deeply care about them and are holding their hand and cheering for them along the way in pregnancy, if this isn’t the case for you.
Sometimes pregnancies can feel emotional in a lot of ways to look back on, too. Perhaps people that showed up for you and shared in your excitement drifted when the baby actually arrived, and your absence of a village is one that was unexpected in this way.
Whatever mixed feelings you have in pregnancy, it is so valid to feel the absence of supportive family a bit more deeply during this time. It is a time when you deserve to feel held, empowered, safe, and surrounded by supportive people that are excited alongside you. It is okay to feel grief and mixed feelings if this hasn’t been your experience.
Be gentle with yourself this week.