Mindfulness in Motherhood

As a parent, we are often doing and thinking about at least a million things at once. Each day there is so much to do and keep track of. Nap schedules, meals, activities, school, the list goes on, and we always have to write it and work through it.

If we are not careful, we can live in a state where we are always quite a few miles down the road in our minds, instead of where our feet are planted in real time.

This can lead to a lot of stress and anxiety. It can lead to feeling like we are always on edge because we are always anticipating needs, thinking about what comes next, and not fully present where we are.

This can be especially true when you don’t have a village of support around you, and people that can help you with practical tasks or the mental load of it all. When all tasks and lists are kept track of and done by only one or two people, it can feel like you never switch off.

It can feel like you always have to be vigilant because if you drop anything, no-one else is there to pick it up.

This can intensify the feeling of not being present. If you are always on edge, keeping track of everything that needs to be done, what things need to be bought or ordered for which child, what things need to be prepped or organised, you can sometimes feel like you haven’t truly been in every moment.

This means there is less mindfulness in each day. And the ironic loop we can get stuck in is that mindfulness actually helps stress and anxiety a profound amount, but we often feel like we cannot afford the time for it, because of how much we need to do and keep track of.

What I have found in parenting without a village, though, is that mindfulness can be in incredibly small pieces and still be beneficial. More than that, it can be essential to lessen the anxiety of looking at the big picture and how much needs to be done at a given time with absolutely no outside support.

Sometimes I will look and notice my hands on the pushchair for a couple of seconds as I walk with my children somewhere. I will take a look at the sky, and talk to my eldest child about what shapes he can see in them. I will take a moment to savour one sip of my tea, probably before trying to down the rest of it and go and get someone a snack or a colouring book. I will breathe in the fresh air when I open the window in the morning, before I rush around the kitchen getting each child the cereal they would like.

I find that these tiny moments of being mindful help me enormously to feel like I am present in the day. They also help me with all of the constant tasks, because rather than get lost in the overwhelm I feel more able to take them one at a time.

I have found mindfulness acts as an anchor for me, when sometimes anxiety over needing to keep track of everything without so much outside support or guidance can run away with me.

It makes sense if you find it harder to always be present, with how much you are carrying with so much less support.

You are allowed to take whatever seconds you can find in the day to just breathe, and try to anchor yourself in the moment. Your state of mind and mental health matters.

Be gentle with yourself this week.