Finding The Funny

With all of the worry and mental load of parenting, it can be easy to take things quite seriously the majority of the time. It can feel like, with the weight of so much responsibility, and learning as you go, and big developmental phases, that there are times when you haven’t just paused to laugh, particularly in more stressful seasons.

When you don’t have a village around you, this is even more true. With only one or two of you always being mentally “on”, always feeling the responsibility with no one to give a helping hand at any point, it can feel like you are taking almost every moment incredibly seriously at times.

When you are so focused on keeping the household running, keeping things on track, checking that everyone is getting their naps and snacks on time, it can feel like you don’t just stop to feel some levity or laughter very much.

Like when your toddler said very sincerely that they weren’t interested in taking a nap today. When your baby danced at warp speed away from you while you were chasing after them to try and pick them up. When you as a parent put your keys in the fridge, or your partner just said something in such a dead-pan way on a day when everyone is tired.

Sometimes these things aren’t super funny in the moment, but in hindsight you chuckle at them. You might sit down at the end of a long day, once your little humans are tucked up in bed, and smile at how silly things were at some parts of the day.

Sometimes in the moment you can laugh at the swirl of chaos going on around you, and sometimes it does just hit you later on. Maybe you couldn’t quite find it funny when you were being sick from norovirus and your toddler walked into the bathroom and asked you to play a board game like there was nothing else going on, while you were mid-throw up. But that is a pretty funny story now.

Maybe you were worried about your baby getting to bed on time but in the moment you couldn’t help but laugh as they looked at you straight in the eye and blew raspberries at you, or whispered “noooo” as you tried to sing them to sleep.

Whether in the moment or in hindsight, I have learned lately that taking the time to laugh about things is really important, and it does make things feel slightly lighter, even when your context isn’t very easy. I just have to give myself permission to.

I have found that there are funny moments every single day in parenting.

But you do have to intentionally let yourself stop and acknowledge them.

The irony is that without a village, you can be so on edge and taking things seriously so much of the time because you are carrying so much, but you also need the laughs so much more, too. They truly are like medicine. It is so beneficial especially when you feel a bit more anxious or on edge to let go and laugh sometimes, because it will help your brain and body. It can signal to your nervous system that you are safe. But in this context it can feel so hard to do.

Especially if you are a parent breaking cycles, it can feel a bit strange to let yourself just have fun. If you grew up in a household where your shoulders were always tense, and you felt like you had to manage people’s feelings or you weren’t allowed to just enjoy things for yourself, it can feel so hard to tell yourself that you deserve to have fun with things, just because. It feels like you need to practice and develop letting yourself just have fun and enjoy things as a skill, like riding a bike.

This isn’t meant to be a piece of fluff advice to just ‘enjoy’ every moment of parenting, or to lighten up. If you are living without a support network built-in in parenting, it can truly feel so hard to let your shoulders relax and to giggle about things in every day life. Things are a bit more serious by default because you are balancing so much, and trying to build something so important.

But you deserve to have fun with it when you feel able to.

And you deserve to laugh.

Be gentle with yourself this week.